During our life's journey,
things go wrong in relationships when we least expect it…The emotional
aftermath of picking up the pieces and moving on, lead to this
poem written this past April … History repeats itself...On
this day it is as real again as it ever was...
Am I Still Crawling?
The beginning was
over before the
start…
It was daunting how she could read
my reflection, in the still waters,
like the book about the stormy seas of my mind.
It is said that “still waters run deep”
Is my soul’s estuary a
shallow and barren desert?
With too many glaring imperfections ?
Have the depths of my soul
reached for the lighted surface
only to see hope evaporate into thin air?
Wanting to feel understood
is a reflection of my heart
and yet I feel the need to harbor,
dark, undiscoverable
traits...
Am I, one heart only lying
to my mind?
As if I was not whole?
Four separated distinct parts…
These hands adorn the quill of
the head, the heart, body and soul...
Without synchronicity,
am I only an illusion of my own wholeness?
After carefully considering
my reflections in the mirror of her eyes,
a panic fell like a dark fog,
blocking the vision into the book of my mind.
Backed up against the corner wall,
I felt like running as my biggest fears manifest
in the realization that our final moment had come...
If… “Am I
? ” ... is the question?
Four separated, incongruent pieces is the answer…
I’ve been fooling myself all along
Walking
away seemed better
than running…
Crawling away
on my hands and knees
just seems unfair.…
© 2012 Harlon Rivers
